Hypnotic Conversations – a quick look inside the book

By now, you will have some idea why the Hypnotic Conversations approach is different from so-called ‘conversational’ Hypnosis.

If you’re still on the fence about whether you should get the book, I’m going to make it easy for you to make a decision.

I’m going to give you a peek at what is inside:

First, I begin with an introduction to Hypnosis. I don’t believe in boring you with unnecessary fluff, so there’s no ‘history of Hypnosis’ in there.

Instead, I show you what the existing types of Hypnosis have in common, bust some myths – including some faulty logic held by many hypnotists – and show you how it’s possible to use Hypnosis effectively in any area of your life.

In the next part of the book, you get into the structure of hypnosis. You’ve seen the structure in broad strokes in video 5 (The Truth About Trances). I go into detail on each element of creating a hypnotic state conversationally, so that when you’ve mastered that part, you’ll have a hypnotic conversation rather than a trance.

I cover creating good suggestions and how to use stories/metaphors. Did I mention that there are exercises which help you build up your skills piece-by-piece?

The third part of the book deals with learning powerful Hypnotic language patterns – you’ve had a taste of this in video 7 (Practicing Hypnotic Language) so if you’re really into hypnotic language, you’ll be delighted to use this section to develop your hypnotic abilities. There are 18 skill-builder exercises for you in this part alone.

The fourth part of the book deals with creating advanced structures. Half of this covers methods for creating action-at-a-distance suggestions in ordinary language. You met one of these on video 9 (Suggestion at a Distance) and you’ll meet four more in detail here.

The second half of this advanced section covers advanced patterns in metaphor – that’s storytelling to you and me. You’ll learn what needs to go into a story to make it compelling and memorable. You’ll be able to identify these elements in movies, books and TV shows – and in the news too.

You will also learn how stories themselves can be used a units within larger structures. If you’re into hypnosis or NLP, you might be thinking “Nested loops.” They’re just a small part of this, being only one of three bigger structures you’ll meet, but I do show you how and why they work, as well as when to use them – conversationally. Read this part thoroughly and you’ll realise that most people don’t do these advanced structures justice. You’ll be able to, though, if you master the basics and put the practice in before attempting anything in this section.

The final part of the book strips away all the complexity – by stripping away all the language – leaving you with a variety of effective methods for non-verbal suggestion. Combine this skill-set with your new appreciation of trance and Hypnotic language… it’s powerful – you get the idea.

If you really want to master everyday Hypnosis, or be led through the Hypnotic process in detail, with plenty of examples and practical exercises, get my book Hypnotic Conversations: The Secret Structure Behind Everyday Hypnosis.

It’s time to step into a new Hypnotic world. There is no better time than right now. Excited? Then dive right in. You’ll love it.

Suggestion at a distance – create precise post-hypnotic effects with a light touch.

Post-hypnotic suggestion is spooky. It’s one part of hypnosis that conjures up all kinds of weird and edgy connotations, with Manchurian Candidate styled overtones.

In formal hypnotic settings, it’s actually really easy. You just make a suggestion that something will happen at a later time and place, or that an action will be triggered by a specific set of circumstances. Here are some examples:

“When you wake up tomorrow, you will feel vibrant and full of ideas…”

Stage Hypnosis:
“When I say ‘where’s your leprechaun?’ you will instantly see a leprechaun in the audience and try to catch it…”

What place do post-hypnotic suggestions have outside a formal setting?

Interestingly, several types of suggestion-at-a-distance are already in conversational use. I describe five of them in my book, Hypnotic Conversations. Let’s look at one of them here.


Often you know something is likely to occur to a person later on and if they are left a completely free choice, they might interpret it negatively.

This form of ‘suggestion at a distance’ is specifically designed to disarm in advance any negative interpretations they may make.

For example, when learning a new skill, it’s inevitable that you may fail some of the time. We all do this when trying out something new. However, some people may interpret this to mean that they are ‘a failure’ and the consequences are that they will stop learning before they can make a breakthrough.

You can inoculate for this by suggesting a more useful interpretation in advance. For example, you might suggest “each time you fail, you’re learning more and are building a solid basis for total success.”

You can also inoculate for other things which can get in the way, such as doubt. “At a particular point in this process, you might have some doubts. That’s absolutely natural and it only means you are moving closer to complete certainty.”

Now you’ve set it up to make positive results inevitable. If they have no doubts, that’s ok. If they have doubts, it means they’re moving towards having no doubts. In either case, the result you will get is the one you want.

The great thing about inoculation is that you can look at any stumbling blocks in advance and suggest they mean something positive which keeps the process on track.

Effective salespeople do this. Good teachers do this. Now you can do it too.

If you want to know more about hypnotic suggestions, or to be led through the hypnotic process in detail, with plenty of examples and practical exercises, get my book Hypnotic Conversations: The Secret Structure Behind Everyday Hypnosis.

Or if you still need more – see the next video, which gives you a peek inside the Hypnotic Conversations book .

Hypnotic Storytelling – The Secret Keys to the Unconscious Self

Stories have a unique power in our lives. Just think about the number of stories you experience in your everyday life.

  • Stories we tell others
  • Stories others tell us
  • Stories in the news
  • Stories in books, movies and TV shows
  • Jokes
  • Advertising and sales pitches
  • Dreams

It should be clear that human beings are natural storytellers. Stories are so natural to us that it’s important to use them in hypnotic conversations.

There is a part of your mind which creates stories from your past experiences. It takes the facts which stand out the most for you and builds them into a plausible narrative. This is the story of your life.

In the words of Hollywood screenwriter Robert McKee:

“Storytelling is the creative demonstration of truth. A story is the living proof of an idea, the conversion of idea to action.”

Stories can capture a person’s attention, activate their imagination and create a change in their state of mind. However, stories can do much more than this.

When you think about the stories which make up your life, remember that this story isn’t true or false – it’s just a story which fits the facts you are aware of.

If you changed one of those stories, it would change your life.

The stories we use to describe everyday events convey a multitude of assumptions about how we perceive the world around us. For example:

  • “it’s just a roll of the dice”

Conveys random chance, no control over the outcome.

  • “he’s keeping his cards close to his chest”

Conveys secrecy, control and an underlying strategy.

When you compare these two phrases, they might describe the same world, but they express very different attitudes to it. For example, the first is reactive, the second is proactive.

Again, neither story is right or wrong. They just have different implications. The story you choose determines the implications you or another person will experience. The effect is extremely potent.
But won’t the reality of the situation overrule our story? Not often. To explain why, I first need to tell you about what I call ‘tiger theories’.

Once I read a story about a man in the jungle who had just made contact with a lost tribe. He was trying to impress the Head Man of the tribe, so he showed him his jeep.

When the Head Man asked how it worked, the explorer started to talk about pistons, engines and valves. The Head Man understood none of this and wasn’t impressed.

So the explorer instead told him that there was a tiger in the box at the front of the machine.
“If you turn this”, he said, pointing to the ignition key, “it twists the tiger’s ear and you will hear him roar”. He turned the key and sure enough, there was a roaring noise from the front of the jeep.
“If you push this with your foot”, he said, pointing to the accelerator, “it pokes the tiger with a stick and he will run forward.” He pushed the pedal and the jeep moved forward.

“If you push this other pedal”, he said, pointing to the brake, “it pulls back on a rope around the tiger’s neck and slows him down again”. He pushed the brake and the vehicle slowed.

“This wheel is connected to ropes on the tiger’s front legs”, he told the Head Man about the steering wheel. “Turning the wheel pulls the tiger in that direction.” He demonstrated the steering.
Knowing this, the Head Man was very impressed and now knew how to operate the explorer’s jeep.

This is what I call a ‘tiger theory’ – a story that is useful because it fits the available facts. However, fitting the facts well or being useful does not make it true, though we often behave as though it does.

Think about something we take for granted – think about gravity. The observable fact is this: things fall downwards. However, there is a story about how gravity works which has changed many times over the centuries. The story fits the observable facts. It even uses math. It certainly is useful, but is it true?

The trick is this: every time we observe something new that doesn’t fit the current story, we change the story. That is why the story changes and develops. Think about what would have happened if the Head Man had looked into the jeep’s engine compartment – the tiger story wouldn’t fit the observable facts and a new story would be needed to make sense of the jeep.

Now, what about the stories which make up your life? If you focus on different aspects of your experience, or if new facts come to light, the story changes – and so do you.

This process is at the very heart of all change and that’s why hypnotic storytelling is a secret key to the unconscious self.

If you want to know more about hypnotic storytelling, or to be led through the hypnotic process in detail, with plenty of examples and practical exercises, get my book Hypnotic Conversations: The Secret Structure Behind Everyday Hypnosis.

Or if you want to know even more first, then watch my next video – Suggestion at a distance – create precise post-hypnotic effects with a light touch.

The best way to practice Hypnotic language without wanting to slam your head in a door

Let’s face it – practicing something new can be really dull. Like playing scales while learning a musical instrument, sometimes repetition is the key. Repetition can help you to internalise the learning, allowing you to make the knowledge your own. This is also true of learning hypnotic language patterns.

However, until you really own it, the practice can be frustrating and dreary.

But practice doesn’t have to be boring, if you know how.

With hypnosis, it helps to break the information into categories, so you can immediately understand the purpose of each piece. From there, you can place the learning in context and it will stick more easily.

So, for those of you at home who are frustrated by trying to get fluent at hypnotic language patterns, I’m going to give you a helping hand. Ready?

Hypnotic language streamlines into three categories: Time, Space and Reality.

Here’s the idea – when you do hypnosis, you’re trying to create a reality (just like Steve Jobs’ “reality distortion field”). You make things real by using a kind of code for real experiences.

Remember that the world is made up of space and time – four dimensions. So words and phrases which create or manipulate time and space are hypnotic. There are other aspects of reality which don’t relate so closely to time and space, so these go into a third category.

So much for the theory, let’s do an example from each category.

Time: Starting and stopping
In life, things begin and end. They start, continue then they stop. Some things build and intensify after they begin, or diminish and fade before they cease.

All of these words express the changes that can happen within the flow of your experience and if you want to create a change, it makes sense to use words like these.

Examples of use in context:

  • Excitement: “you may start to feel a growing excitement as you think about all the possibilities”
  • Relaxation: “when you stop and think about relaxation, where do you feel it first?”

Exercise: How to lead using starting and stopping

  • Decide what experience do you want to lead the person into.
  • What is the other person experiencing now?
  • What does the other person need to start experiencing?
  • What does the other person need to stop experiencing?
  • Have a conversation with this understanding in mind.

Space: Direction
We use direction to describe so many of our experiences and an awareness of this can greatly improve the way you work with a person’s existing stories and metaphors.

For example, we can raise or lower our standards. We can feel ‘down’ or ‘up’. We can pick up an idea, or drop it. People can be ‘on a high’ or may be experiencing a ‘low point’ in their lives. Our performance can take a leap forward, or we can backslide instead.

You’ve probably noticed that all these directions come in pairs of opposites, so we can use changes of direction to change awareness, shift states of mind and alter perspectives too.

Examples of use in context:

  • Choice: “I can’t go back there.” “What would happen if you went forward instead? Where would that lead?”
  • Sales: “The price is too high.” “I can give you something cheaper if you’re prepared to lower your expectations…”

Exercise: How to practice using direction

  • Decide what experience do you want to lead the person into.
  • What way do the directions in their metaphors keep them from that experience?
  • How can you change their ‘directions’ to move them towards that experience?
  • Construct a set of questions that make use of that knowledge to create that experience.

BONUS: Direction can link with and accelerate ‘starting and stopping’ to some extent.

  • start to raise your skill level”
  • begin to move forward positively”

Reality: Automatic
When we do hypnosis, it’s useful to make certain actions or thoughts happen by themselves. The easiest way to create this often involves making the subject ‘a passive observer of themselves’.

This is easier to achieve than it may seem, and it’s a great way to make suggestions easier for your hypnotic subject to act upon.

Examples of use in context:

  • Choice: “…you might notice how certain new choices and possibilities arise…”
  • Creativity: “…you may find yourself coming up with better alternatives…”
  • Sales: “have you ever noticed how some decisions just seem to make themselves?”

Exercise: How to practice using Automatic words

  • Decide what experience do you want to lead the person into.
  • Which will need to happen automatically to start experiencing that?
  • Have a conversation with this understanding in mind.

I’m sure you can see how much fun it can be to learn hypnotic language this way.

If you want to know more about hypnotic language, or to be led through the hypnotic process in detail, with plenty of examples and practical exercises, get my book Hypnotic Conversations: The Secret Structure Behind Everyday Hypnosis.

Or if you want to know even more first, then watch my next video – Hypnotic Storytelling – The secret keys to the unconscious self.

Smart pacing – an easy alternative to boring your hypnotic subject into trance

When talking about hypnosis, most people get the wrong idea about what pacing is. The system in question consists of a pattern of pacing (matching) and then leading (sameness and then difference). As I mentioned in the first video, a pacing statement is commonly reduced to one which matches the obvious perceptions of the hypnotic subject, such as “you are aware of the sounds in the room” or something similar.

I’d suggest a broader definition may be more useful, as it would be better to be able to get things moving towards where you want them straight away, rather than all this tedious and unnecessary business about how things are right now.

I define pacing as “matching aspects of their model of the world.” Notice that I didn’t say anything about ‘statements’ and that I’m intent on focusing them only on certain aspects of the way they think the world works.

You see, you don’t need to ‘pace’ overly much when you’re making suggestions within their model of the world. You can work within their model of the world while asking questions which focus them on relevant and useful parts of it.

How do you know, then, what they suppose is true about the world, without making stupidly obvious statements or outright guesses?

Firstly, questions are better than statements, because they reduce the need for mind-reading, or for tediously stating things which are obvious.

More interestingly, we can ask questions which focus them on aspects of awareness that begin to lead towards where we want them to go.

A ‘formal’ example of a focus question would be “where in your body are you feeling most relaxed right now?” You can immediately understand how much more of an effect that would have than “you are feeling relaxation somewhere in your body”. The question sends them on a search for relaxation, while the statement can, at most, be a loose confirmation of a fact.

It’s self-evident that they’re feeling relaxation in some areas more than in others, even if they’re somewhat tense overall, so the question is partly a pace. It also will have the effect of focusing them on relaxation and causing more of it – a lead.

So the focus question (especially one which uses a comparison) is the most effective form of an indirect lead.

This form of indirect lead is a powerful substitute for the old pace – a smarter form of pacing.

If you want to know more about smart pacing, or to be led through the hypnotic process in detail, with plenty of examples and practical exercises, get my book Hypnotic Conversations: The Secret Structure Behind Everyday Hypnosis.

Or if you want to know even more first, then watch my next video – The best way to practice Hypnotic language without wanting to slam your head in a door.

NLP Word Power 2 – Words That Lend Influence

Some words can be used to ‘lend’ influence to others. In this pattern, two things become linked in a person’s mind. There are various simple words to do this, words that you use every day.

Linking with a simple conjunction, such as ‘and’, can be very powerful, because we tend to consciously ignore small words.

At this point you might be thinking “seriously – ‘and’ ? That’s it?” Bear with me.

Because we ignore words like ‘and’, we need to sharpen our awareness to notice the effect of this linking.

How it’s misused:

For example, think about the phrase “health and beauty”. We see this fairly often and don’t question it, but do the two necessarily belong together?

Are healthy people necessarily beautiful? Are beautiful people necessarily healthy? I’m sure we can agree that the link between the two is nowhere near as definite as the phrase might imply. How about “health and safety”? Again, the link is tenuous at best. This is true of many statements which are linked with the word ‘and’.

How about an advertising example: Have a coke and a smile

How you can use it powerfully:

On the upside, this language pattern is really easy to use. Just link something together with something else using ‘and’. Here are some examples.

“relax and enjoy yourself”

“have fun and do well in your interview”

“take your time and come up with the right answer”

It’s really simple and you can test it out for yourself.


To add borrowed influence to an idea, use simple linkages like ‘and’.

NLP Word Power 1 – Words that magnify emotion

Influence. Most people want more of it. It can be frustrating if you are unable to affect important events and circumstances in the world around you.

Those same people don’t realise how much influence they already have, but are unknowingly frittering it away. It’s not really their fault – they don’t know any better yet.

This series will cover simple things you can do to use your language to reclaim your influence and expand on it easily.

Language that magnifies emotion

There is one simple word that you use every day which amplifies emotions: “why?”

More specifically, asking “why?” will tend to magnify another person’s current emotional state.

How you currently misuse it:

When dealing with problems and when you are trying to help people out, I’ll bet the first question that comes to mind is “why…?”

When I train people in NLP, I put a temporary ban on ‘asking why’ when dealing with problems, because it tends to magnify the problem.

In short, “why?” creates “because.”

Asking “why are you feeling sad?” results in the client generating more justification for the sadness. This brings them further into the emotion of ‘feeling sad’ and tends to focus their mind more on sadness. A downward spiral.

In this way, a carelessly worded, but well intentioned question can suck any remaining positivity out of their day.

How you can use it powerfully:

On the upside, asking “Why?” doesn’t just accelerate negative feelings. You can take a more positive emotion and build upon it instead.

If someone is mildly happy, asking “why are you so cheerful today?” tends to result in reasons for the cheerfulness, creating more cheerful feelings and focuses more of their attention on the good feelings. it creates an upward spiral.


To amplify their current state, good or bad, just ask “why…?”

Inside The Science of Ethical Influence

Since I teach hypnosis and NLP, plenty of people ask me about influence and persuasion. Many people wrongly assume that influence is about ‘clever’ language, often to the point of asking for ‘scripts’.

The truth is that the language is far less important than certain other motivating factors that surround the influence situation.

There are six universal factors in influence and persuasion that you should be aware of.


  • it is important to be aware of when someone might be trying to influence you against your interests
  • it is useful to know how to influence someone ethically

I know that, for some, the words ‘ethical’ and ‘influence’ don’t normally belong in the same sentence. The difficulty is that we can’t not influence each other, so – if you consider yourself to be ethical – you need to know how to do this for the best of all concerned. And ethical influence is the only good long term persuasion strategy.

The six influencing factors are described in the video below. This is the work of Dr. Robert Cialdini, the most cited expert on influence and persuasion.

Notice how so little of this is about clever or convoluted language. All influence depends on simple, normal everyday actions – done with awareness for mutual benefit.