NLP, Mastery and Success

What could your life be like if someone gave you a compass that always points the way to success?

success_compass

There are ways of thinking about your aims, goals and desires that are different – and far more powerful – than those you currently use. Ways that put more of your life under your control, making it easier to get what you want.

successThere is more to it than determination. There are activities that successful people definitely don’t do, because they know those actions lead only to failure. They know what the actions of success are – and how to repeat those time and again.

Successful people ask better questions about the things they want, because they know how to build a blueprint for success. In fact, if you can’t get the answers, even your most strenuous efforts will fall far short of the results you truly deserve.

When you make a study of success and compare the highest achievers, patterns start to emerge. Patterns in their thinking, behaviour and outlook on life. Patterns that are often profoundly different from the norm.

These people became special by their own efforts. Successful people don’t work harder than others, though they often work hard to get what they want. They’re not necessarily any more intelligent than the average person. Most were not born into wealth or privilege either. What they do have is a set of skills that many people do not even know exists.

In this course, you can learn those skills, modelled from some of the world’s most successful people.

Learn how to:

  • build a blueprint for success with 10 simple questions
  • stay totally focused throughout your master plan
  • use any results – even failure – as material for creating success
  • master your inner success system and make it work for you – even while you sleep!
  • keep your life balanced throughout the process.

Through a series of simple exercises, you will learn how to think, act and react in ways that will move you towards the things you want from life.

These new skills will be your compass, always keeping you on track, so you can have more of the things you want with less of the time and effort.

As you move through the course, you will put it into action in your life and begin to make success part of who you are.

Go here to book your place and access the material straight away.

What Henry Ford Taught Me About Success

Henry Ford famously said that “Getting ready is the secret of success

While some people believe that this quote is about expectation – that is, you should ‘be ready’ for success to happen to you – I think that misses the point.

Ford is really saying that success isn’t due to a single masterful action. You need to pave the way carefully, and only that preparation makes the action decisive.

In short, the focus here is on what happens before the master-stroke.

Every joke has a set-up before the punch-line and every sale frames the deal before the clincher. Ford understood that success is no different.

I also made use of this principle when using NLP to model excellence. In fact, when Bandler and Grinder undertook their first modelling experiments, creating the foundations of NLP, they used this principle too.

They video-taped sessions with Virginia Satir and when they observed a change in a client, they rewound the tape to find out what Virginia had done to pave the way for that change.

I have also found this principle to be useful for Public Speaking though not just by rehearsing. Preparation is a well-understood part of athletic performance; everyone expects that athletes have undergone a rigorous and thorough training program before competing.

Success is no different, yet many still expect it to be a one-shot deal – they try once or twice, fail and then give up. Now imagine a complete novice learning the high-jump. Is it reasonable for them to give up after only a few days of failing to break the world record? That would be foolish.

Getting ready requires preparation, practice and learning. However, it doesn’t need endless repetition.

What series of exercises can you do to prepare yourself for success? To ‘tone your mental muscles’ so to speak?

Take some time to think about that and you may find your own answers. For those who want a short-cut, I’ve created my Mastering Success course and written my Goal Mastery book as a compilation of those methods.

That’s why I think this quote from Henry Ford is so important. It shows a successful man letting you in on his secret. Isn’t it time you got yourself ready too?

Secrets of Self-Sabotage

Have you ever had a sense that part of you was stopping you from achieving the things that you want?

Self-sabotage is relatively easy to identify, but few people understand why it happens – or how to stop it.

First: Awareness

You think you’ve identified an instance of self-sabotage. But what are the motivations behind the sabotage?

Second: Questioning

“In what way do I benefit if I don’t achieve this goal?”
“How do I benefit by things staying the way that they are?”

The answers to these questions might not be readily apparent. However, there are answers and when you find them, they are most revealing. You might also decide that you didn’t really want the thing in the first place, but were being driven by social pressure or the wants of others.

Third: Negotiating

Is there a way I can have that benefit and achieve my goal?

All negotiation with yourself must be towards a win/win solution. So find a way that both you and the secret saboteur in your mind can have what you want. Then it will work for you instead.

I don’t think for a moment that this third step will come easily – at first. Let your mind work on it in the background while you focus on other tasks. Before you sleep, set your intention to dream a solution then let it go.

The results may surprise you.

Dare to take that step now

Right now, I see a lot of people who are so nearly ‘there’ – they really could be where they want to be if they just dared to keep going and take that last – seemingly risky – step.

This isn’t new, of course.

“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison

Those who reach this point don’t often realise it, but it’s the final fork in the road between success and failure. This could be your moment, if you dare to succeed.

So please, take that step right now.

Real World NLP

When I started out with NLP, my first experiences were motivated by an interest in communication, so I focused most on those aspects of my development. From a scientific perspective, I was thoroughly intrigued by the NLP methodology.

I had some skills and very few specific techniques, so I got very good at asking questions and exploring through feedback. In many cases this is the best way to learn something, as the distinctions formed through experience are the most persistent and personal type of learning. In this way, NLP becomes part of experience and part of life.

Experiencing NLP

Since NLP is a way of working and a way of looking at the world, a good way to begin is to start to notice many of the things that NLP training aims to make us more aware of.

Above all, approach this in a playful way. Have fun exploring the new world this opens out.

One thing about memory is that we tend to recall things when we’re in the same state in which we learned them.

So if you’re putting yourself under a bit of pressure, then stop…

Take a deep breath.

Take your mind back to the ‘where and when’ of that learning

and re-connect with it.

Playfulness and fun are two of the states we use a lot in the process of teaching NLP. This is one of the many reasons we do that.

NLP Awareness

Notice when people you know go in and out of states. Anchor the useful ones and test your work. Have everyone around you become more resourceful and motivated this way.

Be aware of the language used by people you meet every day, their tonality, rhythm and inflection. Practice matching those distinct unconscious elements in your communication to achieve better rapport.

Listen for metaprograms and filters and tailor your communication to bypass them.

Prepare, practice, calibrate and improve.

As for the many techniques, work on yourself, help out friends and family, coach colleagues. Above all, remain open to accepting sensory feedback throughout and draw useful distinctions.

NLP Development

Keep yourself open to learning and you will continue to develop. People tend to plateau because they’ve stopped learning. Their internal model of that area has crystallised and extraneous pieces are streamlined away.

While that is a healthy and natural process, you should bear in mind that if there’s still room for improvement, you may have crystallised your learning too soon. Fortunately, our unique teaching methods can reopen the learning process and build positively on this solid foundation.

The key distinction is that a model is not reality and rules can be made to flex, bend and even break constructively, forming new distinctions. Learning through experience is essential at this point, provided these experiences occur within a specific set of boundary conditions. And all in a playful way.

Practicing NLP

Look at the world. Pay attention to the people around you. Find excellent people and ask if you can model their skills. Be curious and enjoy asking thought-provoking questions and you’ll find that everyone does something really well.

If you ask yourself, ‘how can I use these skills to great effect in work/at home/in my pastimes,’ you will benefit greatly from understanding more about the people in the world around you.

I began my journey in a search for better means of communicating. I found a lot more than that. If you make the awareness and methods part of your life, you’ll never have to practice NLP.

Just enjoy your life.

The courage to follow your heart

How much do you love what you do? If you were to take a moment and give it a grade out of 10, how would it score?

It probably won’t surprise you too much to hear that most people I’ve asked that question score below 7 out of 10.

Now, 10 out of 10 doesn’t indicate perfection – we all have our difficult moments. As a rule-of-thumb, I’d say that someone near the top of that scale would still do what they do, even if they didn’t get paid for it.

Knowing that, if most people score themselves below 7, then where is the love? Where is the passion we all have deep within ourselves?

In NLP, we talk about values – the motivations behind the things you enjoy doing that make them valuable to you as an individual. If your values are satisfied within an area of your life, you will be happy within that context.

That’s why values are so important within coaching – they can act as an indicator of where you should be looking if you want to be happy, successful and fulfilled.

What is it really like to love what you do? Take some time to watch the video below and you may get some ideas. Steve Jobs (Founder of Apple and Pixar) draws on three pivotal moments in his life to inspire Stanford graduates to pursue their dreams.

This video is inspirational to me, not just because of the stories he tells, but because it is tempered by a deep personal honesty:

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition – they somehow already know what you want to become”

When you know your values, you have a compass that always points towards success. All you need to do is follow it.

Boundaries and Values – Part 2

The value of ‘free’

I’ve written about the ‘value of free’ before, though a recent experience has brought this back to the forefront of my awareness. A complete stranger contacted me several months ago about one of my training programs. They had decided they would “quite like to be a life coach”, so could they please attend my NLP Practitioner and Coach certification course (a £1749 value) for free!

Besides having a hell of a nerve, I think that people in that ‘free’ mindset somehow don’t understand that this business is my livelihood as well as my passion. Try pulling that sort of manoeuvre with your landlord or your bank manager and I guarantee you won’t get very far.

As I see it, there are several things wrong with the ‘free stuff’ mindset:

1) ‘Free stuff’ is less valued

In my experience, those who come to a paying seminar have invested something in themselves and are fully engaged in the process. They’re more motivated, tend to get better results and – most importantly – are inclined to practice. Those who have booked on free events I’ve run in the past are less likely to take the material seriously or even to turn up.

2) Investment constitutes a firm commitment

For example, those who invest in themselves take a therapeutic process more seriously. Statistics show that subsidised ‘free’ treatment has more no-shows than paid treatment.

3) Those who invest in themselves tend to be more involved and have specific outcomes

For example, training people within a business shows a great contrast with those who choose to attend our public courses. And the greatest contrast can be experienced when talking about outcomes. Many people treat a business training course as a ‘day away from their desk’ and that often translates into either a day off work or wasted time – neither of which is a positive way of engaging with the material. Needless to say, it’s good to get this out of the way beforehand.

4) ‘Free’ is a game that everyone has to play for the system to work

The ‘free’ mindset can be a tad selfish – “what can I get for nothing?” – but it’s important to look at the whole system to check the ecology. I would be perfectly happy to work for free if I can get free rent, free food, free clothes, transport, heating, electricity, water etc. and can live tax-free. I somehow can’t see that happening any day soon 🙂

5) There’s no such thing as a free lunch

Free material can sometimes have value, but it’s not motivated by altruism. It’s there to promote, to pitch, to up-sell, to build brand awareness or to educate, so your mileage may vary. In short, there is a lot of dross out there. Personally, I follow a principle I learned from marketing expert Mark Joyner – Don’t give something away that you couldn’t otherwise sell. It’s not a ‘free lunch’ but it does have substance – and is therefore a win/win.

Value, substance and standards

I think it’s vitally important to have standards. I feel great after delivering a training because I know that my trainees all measure up to a high standard of ability. Most of them don’t quite realise how high those standards are, because the training experience is so relaxed and fun. However, they consistently stand out from the crowd and I’m proud we could accomplish that together.

Naturally, I’m keen to promote more of that, so I’m done with ‘free for the sake of it’ and when it comes to my values, compromise is inappropriate.

As I said in Part 1 of this article, Life can be something of a teacher. However, it’s up to us which lesson we learn from life.

Are you one of the unlucky 54%?

A recent UK survey indicates that on average 54% of the population has a significant fear of public speaking. This is alarming because we all need to deliver a speech or presentation in public more than once in our lives. In many professions, public speaking skills count when being considered for promotion because confident public speaking is considered to be a defining leadership skill. Yet over half the population live in fear of delivering a speech.

As a former shy speaker I know how to change this, so I created ‘Presenting Power’ as the solution to that problem – a new book based on my tried-and-tested methods. This approach is different from any other because you can become a great speaker by doing less than before. You will become free from fear and develop your skill as a speaker by following the simple instructions I give you in the book.

What is it possible to achieve? Imagine this: You are asked to deliver an important presentation – and this time it feels different. Maybe you will describe your work, outline an important proposal or champion a cause. You feel excited at the thought of connecting with an audience and know exactly what you need to do to prepare your material. On the day, you speak easily and confidently without notes, because you only need to hold two things in your memory. You can see the audience sit up and take notice of you while you speak and revel in the applause when you conclude powerfully. You might even think to yourself “life doesn’t get much better than this!”

I know that you can have that success if you follow the methods detailed in Presenting Power.

Or you could remain as one of the 54%. I know that some of you believe that there’s safety in numbers. That may be some comfort until the inevitable day when you have to stand in front of an audience – alone.

If you want to find out more about public speaking success instead, go here now: www.presentingpower.com

How is your Journey?

It’s that time of year again, where many are striving (and often struggling) to achieve their New Year’s Resolutions.

And the news is not good – 99% of New Year’s Resolutions fall flat within weeks. And it’s easy to see why.

The common choices people make are to:

  1. Give up something they like.
  2. Take up something they don’t normally enjoy.

It’s not difficult to see why these choices fail most of the time. In the first case, they’re trying to move away from pleasure and in the second, they’re trying to move towards discomfort and pain!

In either case, it’s a step in the wrong direction. Enough said.

It’s often not enough to know what you want and go for it. In addition to knowing what you want, a plan of action has two vital aspects, both of which must be sufficiently appealing.

They are the journey and the destination.

Most people only look at the destination when deciding if they want something. I’ve run into this issue time and again when coaching people for success.

Let me give you an example. As part of their life balance, many people want to improve their health and vitality. So they imagine the desired destination – they picture themselves being fit and healthy.

Do they want that? You bet they do! Yet that, by itself, probably won’t get them there.

Why not? Read on.

> Achieving success

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“Transforming Failure”

In the field of personal change we hear an awful lot about success. That’s all fine and good – we should concentrate on what we want, as we tend to get what we focus on. Then I came across this quote and it made me think…

“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people
into thinking they can’t lose.”

– Bill Gates

You may be thinking to yourself, “That’s alright for a multi-millionaire to say. Personally, I’d rather be successful and never put a foot wrong”.

The big question is – can you realistically expect that? That everything will always go according to plan? Think about it for a moment, and you’ll realise there are certain consequences to getting an easy time…

To read more, go here:

Transforming failure